These are the top 10 ways to embrace yourself, your life and your singleness, which will help you develop and maintain a strong relationship with yourself.
It is absurd to me that so many people cannot stand their own presence, and avoid it like the plague. This is usually due to the fact that we have a hard time loving and embracing ourselves. So instead, we jump into relationships, we escape any alone time at any chance we get. We invest all of our energy on maintaining and developing other relationships with people around us, and neglect ourselves in the process. Which is the surest, most direct way to weaken our relationship with ourselves.
We can never be truly happy if we only rely and depend on others to do it for us, if we constantly escape and avoid spending time alone. In order to be happy with who you are and what you have, you need to work on who you are, what you have and learn how to embrace yourself. It’s important to love others, but we need to love ourselves first and foremost. When you love and embrace yourself properly, you become stronger and more independent. You also attract better love into your life. A strong relationship with yourself, will help you strengthen other relationships.
1. Dating Yourself
Spend quality time with yourself and learn how to be comfortable in your own company. If you want to enjoy and embrace your alone time and yourself, you actually need to spend time by yourself. High quality time – without screens or technology, at least not as the main distraction. Take yourself on proper dates, just like any other relationship you have in your life. Make sure they are activities you both enjoy and are significant for you. Things that will bring you closer to yourself and not make you uncomfortable. In order to embrace yourself, you need to dedicate and designate time, every week, just for you. Whether it be a pampering home spa date, a coffee date at your favourite cafe or a stroll in the park.
2. Cleanse your life
Remove toxic people, things and habits from your life that make you feel bad, sad and worthless. When your life is filled with people that only bring you down and make you feel less than you are, then you will have a hard time embracing yourself. If there’s someone who you’re constantly chasing, but they don’t put in the same effort, then you need to get rid of them. Same goes for any material objects or things that may make you feel bad about yourself. Also, if there are habits you acquired over the years that you don’t like, and make it hard for you to embrace yourself… Then you need to work on getting rid of them. Like smoking, over drinking, binge eating or watching, etc. Draining your life from all of these toxins, will improve it greatly and help you take a huge step towards embracing yourself.
3. Self care
Self care is one of my favourite forms of expressing and showing myself some self love. Firstly, and most basic – make sure to have a proper hygiene and skin care routine. It’s fundamental to have a proper daily routine, that will not only keep you clean and fresh, but also make you feel better about yourself. If you neglect yourself, you will feel disgusting and will have a hard time embracing yourself. Secondly, you should also have some designated pampering time. Whether it be a home spa date, or just a face mask, bath bomb / salts, etc. You should incorporate these in your weekly schedule, as they will also help you feel good about yourself, and thus… Help you embrace yourself.
4. Taking care of your physical health
This is a different form of self care, which is a little less pleasant at times. Because embracing yourself, is also about taking care of your health – both mentally and physically. Self care isn’t just about the nice, fun stuff. Sometimes it’s also hard and unpleasant. This means, eating healthy and working out – even when it’s really hard and difficult. Of course, you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself – because that will just make you more miserable.
It’s okay to have cheat days, and skip a workout here and there. But it’s so important to work on your self discipline and create a healthy lifestyle regime. Staying healthy makes you feel clean from the inside out, and when you feel that – you feel better about yourself. And again, that will help you embrace yourself better. It will also improve your mental health, and make you happier in general, which is a huge bonus.
5. Taking care of your mental health
When you feel unstable, it will be very difficult for you to embrace yourself. Thus, just as it is important to take care of your body, it’s also important to take care of your mind and soul. For some this may mean going to see a therapist, which is great. For others, it can be a hike through nature, or any form of sports. It can also be drawing, writing, playing an instrument, or any other form of arts. I also strongly believe that taking some breaks throughout the days, weeks and months from screens, tech and especially social media… Does wonders for mental health. Disconnecting from all that, is definitely the best way to reconnect with yourself.
6. Surround yourself with good people
The people you keep close to you, are a direct reflection of you and the way you act and lead your life. If you’re constantly hanging out with people who drag you down and make you do bad things, you will certainly not be able to truly embrace yourself. If you’re always hanging out with people with bad, negative vibes, they will surely rub off on you and make you do the same. You need and want to start hanging out, and surrounding yourself with people who lift you up. People who not only behave well and make you feel good about yourself, but also inspire you to do and be better. And people who lead a strong, positive life themselves, will help you do the same, and do better. Thus, will help you embrace yourself more.
7. Shift and change your mindset
One of the biggest influencers on the way we live our lives and the way we see ourselves, is our mindset. If you always focus on everything that can and does go wrong, then you’re more likely to have more things go wrong. It’s so easy to find bad things, you will always find them if you look for them. But there are just as many good, positive things. And yeah, the negative is part of life, and you need to embrace that as well, because that is what will help you recognise and appreciate the good and the positive. You need to make a conscious decision to focus mainly on everything right in yourself, everything good, and work hard to make it happen. When you do that, you will be so much happier, and when you’re happier, and your mindset is positive, you will embrace yourself much better.
8. Maintain a proper, productive schedule
There’s nothing that can make you self deprecating, quite like feeling unproductive can. It’s definitely more than okay to have slow days where you don’t get much done. And you should never be too hard on yourself for that. But you also need to find that fine line between being lazy and needing a break. Make sure to build a proper schedule for yourself, where you fill in your work, friends and family, hobbies, self dates and everything else I’ve mentioned throughout this post. When you feel productive, like you’re getting things done and doing well, you will feel so much better about yourself, thus you embrace yourself more. So whether it be in a physical planner or on google calendar… Make sure to fill up your days with a good variety of workloads, fun activities, health care and pampering.
9. Take advantage of your single periods
Unfortunately, too many people are too scared of being single that they just jump straight from one relationship to another. Besides the fact that you need to take the time to regain energy and let your heart heal and rest… You also need to take the time to get reacquainted with yourself. Get to know yourself again and learn who you are alone. When you do that, you become stronger and more independent. Then you rely and depend less on others to make you happy or live your life. You need to learn how to be single and happy, so you can truly be happy in other relationships. When you take the time to be alone for a while, work on your personal development and growth, you will embrace yourself so much more.
10. Paying it forward
Personally, I think the times that I felt the best about myself, was when I was helping others be their best self. There is nothing quite like that feeling of making an impact, a difference in someone’s life. Like your presence in their life, the action you took and the words you said… Made their life that much better. At the end of the day, what is all the self love in the world worth, if you just keep it between your own four walls.
You need to spread it out as much as you can. You create a cycle, by helping others, you feel good about yourself, which makes it easier and better to keep helping others and making a change in the world. When you do that, nothing else will make you feel quite as fulfilled as when you’re helping others. And believe me, that is the best way to embrace yourself.
The process and journey to embracing yourself, is never easy, just like everything else in life.
It takes effort and hard work, you need to make it a large goal in your life, and strive towards it every single day. Loving yourself, learning how to enjoy your own company and how to be single and happy, will rarely (if ever) happen easily and quickly. It’s a long and windy road, with many struggles, hurdles, ups and downs. There will be hard days when you need to climb and use every ounce of your strength. There will also be better days, where you’re just striding along the plain.
It is crucial to remember that it’s okay to struggle, it’s okay to break down and be on the verge of giving up. As long as you keep reminding yourself of your end goal and why you’re fighting. Of how much it is worth it all. Because it truly is worth it. When you learn how to embrace yourself with all your scars, quirks, weirdnesses, wounds, imperfections and flaws… You will be so much happier, because your main source will be you, and no one else.
Stay safe, stay healthy and stay strong!
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