Embracing Singlehood,  Single Life Blog

Ways to Look at the Bright Side of Single

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These are the top 10 ways to help you focus on the bright side of being single. 

Just like everything else in life, you can choose what to focus on – the good and the positive, or the bad and the negative. Yeah, it’s easier said than done, but again, just like anything else… It gets easier with time and practice. The more you do it the easier it gets, and the better you are at it.. Even if you have to force yourself at first, or even fake it a bit… That’s okay, because you have to start somewhere, and most people won’t be good at it from the get go. But you have to make a decision to do so, and you have to keep deciding every single day. All the while, being patient and kind with yourself. Understanding that it’s not an easy process, and it’s okay to not always be so happy and positive about everything. It’s okay to have bad days.

Depending on your perspective and what you choose to focus on, being single can have many dark, un-attractive sides. But if done right, being single can be the best thing to ever happen to you. For that to happen, however, for you to focus on the bright side of single… – You have to choose it, you have to make the decision to take advantage of your singlehood. To use it for personal growth and development. Take this time as an opportunity to learn how to love yourself first and foremost, and how to embrace yourself and your singleness.

1. Create for yourself opportunities you wouldn’t have otherwise

You can either focus on the opportunities that you can’t have, because you’re single, or you can choose to focus on what you can have. It’s easy to wallow over not having romantic love, of being far away from having kids and more. But that will only make you even more miserable, and you need to start shifting your mindset. If you want to be happy, start accepting yourself and your single life… By grasping onto all the new opportunities that singlehood allows you. Yeah, you don’t have a relationship or kids, but think of all the time it frees up for you to do your thing. When you start filling your life with these opportunities you wouldn’t have otherwise… It will be easier to be happy about being single, and to see the bright side of it all. 

2. Take advantage of the freedom and space you have

Yeah, having a relationship can mean having great company and love to fill your life with. You may have someone worrying about and for you, someone to always talk to, someone to text and call. If you’re single, however, instead of worrying about not having all that, and chasing others for it… Start focusing on all the free time and space you have. On all the freedom to do what you want, when you want and however you want. Don’t be miserable over all the time you could’ve spent, or the space in your life you could have filled  with a relationship… Instead, take advantage of all that freedom and space to fill your life with all the new found opportunities we discussed above.

3. Use this time to improve yourself and your life

When you’re single… You can either choose to spend your time focusing on others, on chasing a new relationship and trying to be there for everyone else… Or you can utilize your singlehood and take advantage of it, to work on yourself. Stop neglecting yourself and putting others first. Stop constantly worrying about finding someone new, or what others will think or say. Instead, try and focus on how you can improve yourself and your life during this time. 

4. Focus on other relationships in your life

Life is about so much more than just romantic love and relationships, and instead of worrying about not having one… You can spend your time enjoying and working on other platonic relationships in your life. All of those that you neglected while in a relationship, or just people you didn’t have time for before… This is a great opportunity to see them all and do some maintenance to those relationships. More often than not, platonic relationships (strong friendships) can be just as significant, if not more, than romantic ones. 

5. Spend quality time with yourself and learn to love it

Many times, one of the main reasons we avoid our own company is because we never learned to like it properly. And because we never did so, we avoid it like the plague. So we jump into relationships, or stay in the wrong ones. But you need to shift your mindset and start seeing it as an opportunity to spend some quality time with yourself. When you invest in yourself, in spending high quality alone time… You will be so much happier, and it will be easier to see all of the perks of being single. Of the bright side of being single, and how good it can be for you and your life. 

6. Stop comparing yourself to others

One of the worst things you can do, is compare yourself with others. In anything in life. If you do that, it will prevent you from ever being happy with what you got in general, but in your singleness specifically. It will only make you more miserable and angry at the world. Life is not a race or a competition, and each person has their own path, and that’s okay. Focus on your own path and where you’re going, and only compare yourself to who you were yesterday and no one else. When you focus on your own growth and development, and accept it and the pace you’re going at… You will be able to focus so much better on all the befinifts and the bright side of being single.

7. Learn how to appreciate where you at and what you got

In addition to stopping any comparison with anyone else, start appreciating what you have as well. With time, patience and practice it’s likely it will happen on its own… When you stop constantly comparing yourself to others, you will automatically start liking where you’re at and what you have more. Inhance that by consciously focusing on all the good things in your life, on what you like about where and who you are. When you do that, you are more likely to not only embrace yourself and your singleness, but also be better at seeing the bright sides of being single.

8. Take a break from dating

Yes, yes, I know, for some of you this may sound forrific, like I’ve gone absolutely mad. But hear me out first… Just like many of you, during this past year or so of the pandemic, I had nowhere to meet new people. Even if I had, there was nowhere to go out to. In general, the dating scene was so much more difficult and almost non-existent. So instead of wallowing over it, and hating my life and being angry… I decided to see it as an opportunity to focus on myself, to date me instead. Furthermore, taking a break from dating also gave me a chance to use it as just what it is… A break. It can get tiring to date, and it can take a toll on your well being and overall self esteem. So taking a step back can be exactly what you need, so you can recharge and regain energy. And when you focus on that and yourself, you’re sure to see more clearly all the bright sides of being single.

9. Turn your mistakes into lessons

This is something I preach about a lot, and I will preach about it again and again, as many times as needed. Because too many people let their mistakes get them down and hold them back. They punish themselves for making them, and then hinder their progress. That is a huge mistake in itself, because making mistakes is part of life, which is unfortunately inevitable. So instead of making it worse by letting it make you miserable, turn it into something positive and useful… By making it a teacher, a life lesson that you can learn from how to do and be better in the future. As humans we tend to make mistakes, and when we’re single, those mistakes can prevent us from seeing the bright side of singlehood. So learning how to learn from mistakes, can definitely help you change that.

10. Focus on the negatives of not being single

This last one may seem silly and sound even a bit stupid, but it’s something that really helps me focus on the bright side of single. It’s easy to look at what your neighbour has and you don’t, and wish you had the same. From the outside looking in, one of the easiest things to notice is how happy they are. But beside the fact that you never know what goes on under the surface and behind closed doors… You need to learn how to focus on what they don’t have and you do, that you love. They may be married, maybe even with kids, and they may have each other and what not… But there are also so many negative sides to that, and when you focus on that, being single will surely look a lot brighter.

Believe me, I know how much easier all this is said than done, just like everything else in life. Just life everything else good in life takes a lot of hard work and effort. However, with time, patience and practice, once you shift your mindset… It will all get so much better and easier. You will get better at it and will be so much happier, you will have a much stronger foundation to build on. Not to mention, that learning how to focus on the bright side of single, can also help you in other aspects of life. It will help you look at the bright side of many other things you may struggle to see the positive side of.

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Stay safe, stay healthy and stay strong!
Michal B.L.

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Hey there! My name is Michal, I was born and raised in Israel, currently I live in a small city near Jerusalem. I'm a certified life coach, and in my Single Life Blog, I write about single life in all its glory and share Single Life Lessons to help you embrace yourself and your singlehood. I offer tips and advice for a better, happy single life, how to be independent, feel comfortable in your own skin and company, and how to not chase toxic people - all of which are based on my own 7-year single life experience.

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