These are the top 10 reasons why you need and should embrace your singlehood, and how singleness is a gift.
I preach a lot about how to embrace your singlehood and how to love and enjoy your single life. And I would like to take a step back for a moment and preach about reasons why you need to embrace singlehood to begin with. Why even bother with taking the time to be single and be with yourself, before you jump into yet another relationship. As always, I’m not saying you should be single forever, nor am I saying that it’s better than being in a relationship. (Even though many times I do feel that way). I’m just saying that if you find yourself single, this is why you should pause, and take the time to be single and embrace it.
All of the following methods are not only reasons why you need to embrace singlehood… They’re also great methods to help you do exactly that – embrace your singlehood. So it’s a win-win situation, right?
1. You don’t know if & when you’ll find someone
The brutal, honest truth is that you don’t know how long you’re going to be single. This is not usually something we can control, unless we settle for just anyone we can find, which is never a good idea. Fighting something you can’t control, or crying over it, won’t help your situation in any way. In fact, it will only make it worse, and hold you back from doing something with yourself and your life. So why not embrace it?
This is true for anything in life, and especially your single status. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to find someone if you want to do so. I’m saying you should also embrace this single period in your life and make the most of it while you can. Especially since you don’t know how long it will take you to find someone who’s right for you. You can’t and shouldn’t waste away this huge chunk of time in your life. This is also the most basic, but very fundamental reasons why you need to embrace singlehood. As it’s based on your current situation in life.
2. Even if you find someone, you need your own life
A relationship should never be your sole purpose in life, and it certainly shouldn’t be your whole life. Not only will it strain that relationship and make it crumble, but it also won’t really bring you true happiness. There’s so much more than that to life; your life shouldn’t revolve and centre around just one thing or relationship.
If you’re single, it’s a great opportunity to create a life for yourself, filled with things that make you happy and feel fulfilled. So when you do find a relationship, you’ll already have enough of a life that you won’t depend on that relationship to make you happy and strong. Nor will you put all the pressure on that one person to be your whole world and life. Filling your life up will help you enjoy and love yourself and your life more. Thus you will also embrace your singleness better.
3. Stop wallowing over your status quo
The alternative to embracing your singlehood is wallowing over it and doing desperate things to try and change it. Neither will actually make any healthy change or improve your situation. Again, it will only make it worse. There’s nothing productive in wallowing over anything in life, all it does is make you even more bitter and prevents you from moving forward. And doing something with yourself and your life. This is your life, this is your status at the moment, and no amount of wallowing will change that or make it better.
If you want change and want to make it better, you need to be proactive. Yes, singleness can suck at times and it can be hard to stop wallowing over it. But what is wallowing going to achieve? The only real way you can help yourself is by embracing this single period in your life and making the most of it. Take advantage and utilise it as best you can, which will not only help you embrace it better, but also stop wallowing. Stopping your wallowing is not only one of the reasons why you need to embrace singlehood… But also a great way to focus better on what you do have in your life, and move forward.
4. Take advantage of this period in your life
Instead of wallowing over your single status, as I mentioned above, use it as your superpower. Use it to your advantage to do all the things you couldn’t do when you were in a relationship. Seize opportunities you wouldn’t have had if you were in a relationship. And your single period is filled to the brim with amazing opportunities, which is an inseparable part of embracing your singleness.
Not only will you be too busy to wallow over it, it will also help you feel more fulfilled and that you have things going for you. It will also help you create a life for yourself, so you don’t constantly rely on others and a relationship. Instead of focusing on all the things you don’t and can’t have, focus on the things you do and can have. Focus on all things that you wouldn’t have had if you weren’t single. Like the space and freedom singlehood provides, to do with what you desire.
5. Give yourself time to heal
Just like any injury, organ and limb – your mind, heart and soul also need time to heal. If you go to a doctor for an injury to your leg, for example, the doctor will likely tell you to stay off it and rest. Because the more you step on it, the worse it gets. Your heart is no different. If you just keep relationship-hopping without taking time in between, it will weaken your state.
Your body can’t keep going and taking the punches, without breaks in between. Not only to heal, but also to grow stronger, and more resilient. Just like a workout is no good without the rest and meal after it. Taking the time to embrace your singlehood, will give you an opportunity to rejuvenate. And taking the time to heal and nurture your mind, body and soul, will help you embrace singlehood even better.
6. Develop a self-relationship
Not only do we tend to neglect ourselves in general in life, we also lose ourselves in relationships. Especially romantic ones, because it tends to become an inseparable part of our identity. To the point where we don’t even know who we are anymore and how to be on our own without feeling lonely or going crazy. Your single period is the ideal time to start working on your connection and relationship with yourself. Because you have the freedom, time, space and capacity to do so.
A proper self-relationship will build a stronger base for yourself and your life, and for all other relationships in it. And when you have a strong relationship with yourself, you’re at a better vantage point to start a healthier relationship with others. And you are less likely to lose yourself in them again, and it prevents you from settling for just anyone. This is one of the most important reasons why you need to embrace singlehood, as you self-relationship is and should be the main relationship in your life.
7. Feel more comfortable & confident alone
I find it absurd that so many people feel so uncomfortable being on their own, in their own company and presence. And even in their own skin. We constantly rely on others to make us stronger, happier and for life experiences. We can’t simply do things for and with ourselves without feeling self-conscious and awkward about it. When you take the time to embrace yourself and your singleness, you have no choice but to fend for yourself.
It helps you develop thick skin, and more confidence. To the point where you won’t feel the need to always wait around for others to do things with and for you. You won’t care as much (if at all) what others will think or say about you being and doing things on your own. You’ll also learn how to feel more comfortable in your own company, which will also help you feel less lonely alone. As well as know your worth better, and settle less.
8. An opportunity to ‘find yourself’
As I mentioned above, we tend to lose ourselves in relationships, and we forget who we are alone and what we want and like. When we jump straight into yet another relationship, all we’re doing is just losing ourselves even more. And making an even bigger mess, because now two people have a part of your messed up identity. Your singlehood is essential in helping you re-discover who you are, what you like and what you want from yourself and your life.
Furthermore, if you do it properly and allow yourself to grow stronger… You’re also less likely to lose yourself again in the future. During your single period you have all the time and space you want and need to start doing some trials and errors, to discover what it is you and your life need. Finding yourself means knowing what your morals, principals and ideals are. What you’re not willing to compromise on, what your red lines are. Finding what it is you’re passionate about and want to do with yourself and your life.
9. Time to focus on your passions
Speaking of, your single period is also the perfect time to focus on growing and developing your passions. And if you don’t know what they are, it’s also the ideal time to start figuring out what it is. Your passion is something you want to do with yourself and your life. It’s something that boils and bubbles inside you, and under your skin. Something you want to make an impact and change with. Something you either want to do as a side hustle or as your main career. Or maybe something you want to be a prominent pillar in your life, like travelling or any hobby you may have.
Having your passion is a huge part of creating a fulfilling life for yourself so you’re not as reliant on others and relationships. It’s also one of the best ways to add substance to your life, and enhance the quality and value. And seeing as you don’t have one romantic relationship taking up a huge chuck on your time… You actually have the time to do so.
10. Prevents you from settling
Embracing your singlehood, along with all of the 9 other reasons why you need to embrace singlehood above, help you become a stronger person, and be stronger on your own. Which is the best way to help you prevent yourself from settling for just anyone, just for the sake of being in a relationship and not being single. When you embrace yourself and your singlehood, you know your worth better and are less likely to give it up for just anyone. You also won’t be so scared to be on your own, because you know your singleness is better than a mediocre relationship.
When you go out with all of the wrong people, you won’t feel the need to put on a mask and pretend to be someone you’re not. Because you know that if they can’t accept you as you are, they’re also not worthy of you. The right people, who are worthy, won’t make you put on a show or hide yourself. They’ll appreciate and love you for you.
In conclusion – you can either fight it, or join it
When you don’t embrace your single life, you’re essentially battling yourself and your own life. Instead of actually living your life to its fullest and making the most of it. Again, wallowing won’t help, and neither will hating and wishing it away. What will help, is joining the cause and just living your life as best you can, with your current status. An essential part of embracing yourself and your singleness… Is also focusing as much as you can on all the reasons why you need to embrace singlehood.
I’m also a huge believer that when you embrace yourself, and develop a strong, healthy relationship with yourself… You’re not only at a better place and mind-space to start a new relationship. You’re also more likely to find a better, healthier relationship, without losing yourself in it. With a person who is right for you, and who is worth making compromises for. Because let’s face it, every relationship requires some compromise in one way or another. And the biggest one of all – giving up your single life freedom.
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