Setting New Year’s Resolutions for A Better Single Life

Setting New Year’s Resolutions for A Better Single Life – Setting new year’s resolutions that will help you improve your single life and embrace yourself.

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There are so many good reasons to set new year’s resolutions, even if you think it’s silly or stupid. Especially when you’re single and fending for yourself, and even more so if you’re freshly singled… Which may mean you’re feeling a bit lost in a strange territory… And not sure where to go or who you even are alone. So make sure to take the time, with no distractions and think about what you truly want. What is best for you. Write them down, and then start working hard and productive to make them come true.

Why you need to set resolutions:

• Setting your resolutions keep you focused and prevent you from straying off your path.
• They are great motivators for you to keep moving forward and fighting.
• Writing them down make them more tangible and real, like sending it off into the universe.
• They will help you make sense and organize what you want.

Rules of thumb:

• Take it slow, one step at a time.
• Don’t overwhelm yourself, and choose the right ones for you, not everything. 
• Be forgiving with yourself, and don’t be too harsh if you mishap. 
• There’s no right way or right pace, just the right ones for you.
• Don’t always look to the future, if anything, only the near future… But it’s best to focus on the here and now.

1. Start journaling

I’ve always believed in the power of writing, it’s the main reason I became a writer and decided to pursue it as a career. However, you don’t need to be a writer to start journaling, you don’t even need to be good at it. Journaling has many purposes, the following are the best ones to help you achieve your goals… As well as living your best single life, to the fullest.

Journaling purposes:

• Letting go – use journaling to write down your nagging thoughts, all of the things that are always at the back of your mind, bothering you. Just writing them down is a great way of releasing them. But it’s also like sharing it with a friend. Many times, saying things out loud, especially worries, helps minimize them. Writing them down can have a similar effect.
• Organizing – ever have so many things to do, but get so lost that you just don’t do anything? I find that writing down all of the things I need to get done, in the order of urgency, really helps me be more efficient and productive.
• Tracking – journaling can also help you keep track of your goals and the progress you’re making. You can write down all you’re going through, then go back and read it to monitor your progress, and use it to adjust your goals. When you write it down it’s easier to keep track and pinpoint where you need to do better and improve, and where you’re doing great.

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2. Focusing on yourself

If you find yourself starting this year single, and especially if it’s fresh (and first time in a long time)… One of the most crucial resolutions (and also one of the first ones you should make) is to take some time for yourself, and to focus on yourself. There are so many reasons you need to “take a break” between relationships, both for you and your heart… I could be here all day telling you all the reasons. But for now, here are the most important ones you must include in your new year’s resolutions, to help you live your best single life, and be your best self. All of which will help you build a deep, strong relationship with yourself. 

Best ways to focus on yourself:

• Date yourself – Learning how to date yourself properly, just like you would a friend or a partner… Is an important step in your journey of embracing yourself and your singleness. As well as enjoying your own company and learning how to self love better. Make a habit of taking yourself out on dates, it will teach you to appreciate yourself and your alone time.
• Self care – You should learn how to self care and take care of yourself and not depend on anyone else to do it for you. When you care for yourself, you increase your value and self worth. It’s like making a statement, that you’re worth it and deserve your time, investment, love and care. Which will also help you remove anyone who doesn’t care for you, and attract better treatment from others. 
• Quality time – Just like you need quality time with your friends and family, to nourish and flourish those relationships… You also need to learn how to spend quality time with yourself… It will enhance the value of your time and yourself, and will also help you spend your time more wisely. 

3. Build friendships

Now that you have more time on your hands, and less time focusing on just one relationship… You can take this opportunity to nurture all of your neglected friendships and family members. When you do so, it will also help you battle loneliness, and prevent you from just jumping into another relationship, out of fear of being alone. Building and maintaining these platonic relationships will fill your life, and teach you that there’s more than just one relationship that can make you happy. Also, you will have more people to do things with.

Building friendship Purposes:

• Re-build neglected friendships – when we’re in a romantic relationship, we tend to neglect all the other relationships in our life. Not on purpose, it’s just a natural thing that happens when we have one specific person we put above all. Now that you have so much free time, it’s a great opportunity to tend to the relationships that had been a bit forgotten. It will strengthen any friendship that has been weakened, and help you fill your time, prevent loneliness and give you purpose. 
• Maintain the platonic relationships in your life – this is the best time to discover that life is more than just about one specific romantic relationship. Especially since you’re now more prone to feeling lonely… It’s important to up-keep and maintain the platonic relationships in your life, to help you through it and make your life feel more full. Where once most of your time was focused on one, now you can focus that time on multiple relationships that will bring you just as much, if not more joy. 
• Make new friends – If you’re feeling like you don’t have enough friends, and especially if you’re feeling lonely, this is a great time to make new friends. Perhaps, like me, most of your friends are either married or in serious relationships, and you feel the need to also have some single friends to hang out with. You’re never too old, and you’re never too late to make new friends. They can bring freshness and new vibes to your life. And prevent you from sulking, or jumping into all of the wrong relationships because you’re lonely. And they will teach you that you don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. 

4. Decluttering

Buying new things can make us feel good, and many times throwing things away feels wrong. We develop sentimental value, which makes it even harder to get rid of. All of which, results in us hoarding way too many things we don’t actually need. This is true both to people in our life, and physical objects. A new year is a great opportunity to start decluttering our life and getting rid of things we haven’t touched in a long time, or just taking up space. When you have too many things, you’ll always have a mess around you, and when you live in a mess, it will be harder to focus on anything. A clear space is a clear mind. 

How do you know what to throw away?

• I’ll be generous with you, normally I would say a few months… But if you haven’t used or worn it in a year (let alone more), and especially if you forgot you had it, it needs to go.
• If they only serve as bad or sad reminders of times and people you’d rather forget, it’s time to get it out of your sight. This includes removing toxic people from your life and getting rid of bad habits that make you feel bad about yourself and your life.
• This should be an obvious one, but just in case… If it’s old, town, worn out or even moldy, get rid of it. Unless it holds great value, there is no need to keep it, it’s just taking up space, and you want to be stingy with what you fill it up with.
• Your space should be valued, both physical and mental, and you need to be very cautious about what you fill it with. Don’t be scared of being stingy with what you invest your time and space on. So if it’s not valuable enough – let it go. This will also set a high standard for being in your life, which will improve and enhance your value.

5. Get out of your comfort zone

If you haven’t been out of a relationship in a while, and even more so if you’re an extrovert… Just being single can test your limits and push you far out of your comfort zone. Entering singlehood isn’t easy, having to deal with a break-up, along with getting used to being alone much more, and everything that comes along with it… Is a huge struggle to overcome. Many times we tend to overcompensate by hanging on to our comfort zones with our teeth and nails. Because we think that is what will make us feel better, the known and familiar. However, I found that testing my limits and getting out of my comfort zone even more… That is what helped me cope best. When you get yourself used to it, it will be easier to handle it better.

How and why to get out of your comfort zone:

• Go on more adventures – this is the best time to start embarking on new adventures and creating new experiences. During your Singlehood, you don’t have anyone holding you back. You don’t need to worry about anyone else stopping you from just booking a one way ticket somewhere. Or moving to a new place. Or anything else your heart desires. Adventures will help you bond better with yourself, it will teach you many new things about yourself… Including that you’re so much stronger than you think. 
• Try new things – this is also the time to re-discover yourself and who you are. Many times we tend to lose ourselves in relationships and forget what we’re like alone (and in general) and what we like. The best way to start re-inventing yourself, is to just take chances, do some trials and errors, say yes to new opportunities and be more daring. It won’t only help you find your true self, but also enhance your resilience and make you stronger and more confident and independent. 
• New projects – as part of discovering who your new self is and building a new life for yourself, as well as learning to embrace your new found singleness… Taking on new projects or testing out different fields of interests is key. Whether it’s a new hobby, career path or a side hustle, this is the time to invest in whatever it is you want to do and achieve. Having the time and opportunity to do so, will help you appreciate your singleness and learn how to really enjoy it and take advantage of it. 

Do it your way!

There’s no better time to embark on a new journey, or go down a new path than during the new year. And even more so after the two years we’ve all had. It’s time to take charge of your life, no matter your relationship status, and start building whatever it is you want. To climb a new mountain and concur its peak. Making a whole new fresh start out of it may be just the push you need to get going on your journey.

Happy New Year!

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Stay safe, stay healthy and stay strong!
Michal B.L.

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