What to do on a guided tour self-date – your guide for a great date you can create for yourself, to help you build a stronger self-connection and relationship.
This is not your typical self-date, because you won’t necessarily do it alone, as you’re going on a tour with other people. But you’re still going to it alone, you’re showing up by yourself and you’re still facing that fear. You’re overcoming it and you’re challenging yourself, as well as getting more comfortable with yourself and your own skin… Enough to be able to go on a tour all alone and meet new people. Which is why I included this guided tour self-date in my self-date series. Because in this self-date you’re still coping with one of the hardest things in single life, which is doing things alone, while still surrounded by people. It’s also a great way to connect with yourself, because you’re likely also going to spend part of the tour on your own.
Types of tours:
There are so many different types of tours for you to choose from, and you need to pick the one best for you. The one you feel most ready for. Do some research online and check out the options, to see what you can find and choose.
Free city tour
This is my absolute favourite, especially when I’m on a solo trip. But if you live near a big city in your country, it can also be a different, fun and exciting experience. They have them in most cities around the world, and are just the best way to explore and meet new people. It’s also the easiest to find and book, as well as the cheapest.
Paid city tour
These are more common when you want to explore a nearby city, which is either harder to get to or doesn’t have a free city tour. Or perhaps you just want something more organised. There are also some paid tours for solo travellers, or singles.
This is great whether you’re in your home country or during a solo trip. It can be less daunting because you’re in an enclosed building, or because you usually don’t have to cover so much ground. It’s also particularly great at a museum that covers a topic that interests you especially. You can also learn some interesting new things. Which you can then share with others.
Park / nature tour
This can be a zoo, national park, safari, a farm or any type of hiking trip. This is especially great for when you want to go on a nature trip, or a day hike, but can’t or don’t want to go completely alone. Some of these places are also harder to get to alone, and an organised trip is the only way.
Segway, bike or bust tour
This is perfect for when you’re feeling lazy, or just can’t walk as much. Or maybe if you’re just short for time, and this gets you to the most places in the shortest amount of time. It also adds another element of excitement, or gets you to more places quicker.
Why guided tours?
While there are so many good reasons to go on a guided tour as a self-date, you also need to understand your own why. You shouldn’t go on one, as a form of avoiding your own company. It should only be as an assist to your progress. A way for you to get that push you need to get out of your comfort zone. As a stepping stone.
Spending time alone, without being alone
As I mentioned above, this is a great way to have a self-date without being completely on your own. So while it can be daunting to go out on a tour alone, it can also be a great transition into going out alone. Because you have more people around you to help you feel less lonely. Also, out of a group, it’s also less likely people will recognise and see you as being alone. Which gives you one less thing to worry about, as you won’t feel like you have as many eyes on you as you would usually feel.
Usually you won’t be the only one alone
Guided tours will help you grow more comfortable on your own, especially since you’ll likely encounter more people who also come alone. Which in itself can be a great comfort, even if you don’t talk much to them or just keep to yourself. Just knowing you’re not the only one can give you the encouragement you need. While you’re coming alone, it will also help you feel less alone.
Meet new people
One of the biggest struggles for singles, or in general in adulthood, is meeting new people. And even more so when you’re on a solo trip. But either way, a guided tour is a great way to meet new people, which in a way, will also help you get out of your comfort zone and be more comfortable with yourself. It will also prove to yourself that you’re more capable than you think to talk to and meet new people. It’s also a great way to meet more people where you live.
Learn new, interesting things
Just like with the Museum Self-Date, here as well you can learn so many more new and interesting things. Which is not only great to expand your horizons and general knowledge… But also give you more subjects and issues to discuss with others. Which is especially great if you usually struggle to come up with things to say. It can also help you establish your opinions regarding different matters.
A great way to explore a new place
Again, this is particularly great for when you’re on a solo trip, or just visiting a new city in your own country. A guided tour is the best way to get to know the place and the main highlights, without too much effort.
Get to difficult or tricky places you wouldn’t go alone
As I mentioned in the park / nature tours, this is a great way to get to places you fear going alone. Or can’t get to it alone. And while it’s great to do things for yourself and by yourself, there are certain places and things that are best to not do alone, especially in remote places.
Extra Tips & Tricks to help you feel more comfortable and make the most of it
The spotlight effect
Remember that more often than not, you’re not getting as much attention as you think you are, if at all. Less people are looking at you than you think there are, if at all. And also, you’re not the only one who feels that way. Even people who don’t come alone feel that way.
I know how awkward this can be. I’m very shy by nature, and to this day my heart pounds every time I speak up in a crowd. But this is so worth getting over, and doing it anyway. It will also help you break out of your shell, and the more you do it the easier it will be. So listen to the tour guide, ask questions and provide answers when a general question is asked of the group.
Spot the fellow singletons
Keep an eye out for any other person who may be there alone and try to chat them up. It will be much easier, and they’re likely also going to want to seek out other people who are alone.
Before you book your tour, make sure to do some research on google, read reviews and get recommendations. You want to choose the tour that is not only most suitable for you, but also most suitable for singles. Reading up on the tour, can help you decide which one will cover the topics and places that most interest you. As well as inform you on whether it’s mainly for families and couples. And you can also get tips and advice on what you should know before and if there’s something you need to bring.
Put your phone away
As always, your self-date is not the time to be on your phone, especially when you have a wonderful opportunity to meet new people. And practise your people’s skills. Yes, you can and should take some photos, but you shouldn’t use it as a distraction. Also, if others always see you on the phone, you will seem less approachable. Thus lessening your chances of them making the hardest, first step.
Take photos of yourself
While you shouldn’t spend time on your phone, you also should take advantage of this opportunity to get the people you meet to take photos of you at the places you go. This is especially great if you’re normally shy and feel awkward to ask. I hate taking photos of myself and by myself, but even I have to admit that it’s so nice having them as a momento.
This is the perfect date for when you’re solo travelling, but even when you’re in your home country… It can be a great way to meet new people around you, especially if you don’t know anyone around you, or if your friends and family live far away. While you’re not actually spending this time on your own, you are essentially alone. And you’re also still improving and enhancing your single life abilities. This is a great “in between date”, for when you’re just stepping out of the inside fates, to the outside dates. You’re going outside alone, without actually being completely alone.
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