Living Alone,  Single Life Blog

How to Overcome Loneliness When Living Alone

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These are the top 8 methods and ways to cope and overcome the loneliness of living alone when you’re single. 

Living alone and being single can both be difficult individually, so mixing them together can be very scary and hard. But they can also be thrilling, exciting, fun and amazing, apart and together. Just like everything else in life, and every status, there are ups just like there are downs. Positives like the negatives, and struggles, challenges and adventures, once in a lifetime experiences. We don’t need to force ourselves, nor do we need to deny or shove down one side over the other. We need to accept them both, but focus on the positive side, which makes us happier and improves our life. So again, living alone, especially when you’re single… Has it all. All the many feels. And you need to try to embrace them. While making the most of it all and focusing on doing what you can to improve it. 

So here are a few methods and ways for you. Which I use as well in my own single life, to help you overcome loneliness when living alone.

Live close to friends or family

I mentioned this in my Tips & Tricks For Living Alone post, and I wanted to raise it here as well… Because it’s an important one. One of the main reasons we feel so lonely is because we don’t have enough real connections, if at all, in our life. Or we are just not physically close enough to the ones we do have. As much as you need to learn how to be comfortable alone, you also have to surround yourself with people.

As humans we’re social beings, and we need human interactions to stay sane and feel less alone. People to share the good and the bad with, people to just talk to and hang out with. Especially when you live alone, it can be hard to not have that at home. So if possible, try to live near friends and family, and try to have regular meetups with them. It can be a huge relief to have someone who lives close to you. Who you can go to when you need them. 

Set up regular calls or video calls

Even if you can’t live near friends and family, or near certain people in your life… Make sure to schedule regular calls with them. Or even just text them regularly… So you feel up to date and update them as well on what’s going on in your life. 

  • Staying up to date – Sharing both ways like this, will also help you feel less alone. And less like you’re missing out. You also won’t feel as bad that you don’t know what’s going on with someone, or them with you. 
  • Maintain your “social status” – It’s also a great way to maintain and up-keep your social life. Even in times when it’s harder to meet up in person. Or when they live further away. And especially if you don’t have someone nearby, having regular calls will give you at least someone to talk to. 
  • In between – Also in between meet-ups, it’s important to stay in the loop of each other’s lives. Because again, battling loneliness, especially when living alone, is all about connections. So for that, you need to stay connected in any way you can with the people who matter most to you. 
  • Fill your time – This also provides you with a great addition to fill your time and schedule with… If you struggle with filling it up. 
Go out and meet up with people

We can get very used to staying at home very fast, and we can get very lazy to leave the house very fast. Which is why it’s so important to make a habit of getting out of the house. And meeting up with people. Even if at times it may require you to go a bit further out of your way. Or even travel to another town or city.

As comfortable as you may be on your own at home, you also don’t want to get too comfortable on your own. Because spending too much time alone, can also have a negative impact on you. And it can also be counter productive. So again, while you need to learn how to enjoy your own company and presence, it shouldn’t come at the costs of other relationships. You need to find the balance. Even if it takes that bit more effort to do it. 

Meet new people where you live

In my Tips & Tricks For Living Alone post I also mentioned that you need to create and build your own community. This is especially true when you don’t live near people you know. Either way, it’s always great to either meet new people to fill your life with, as long as they add substance and value. You don’t want to add more people just for the sake of being surrounded by more people. You want to add more people to enhance the quality of your life and build more real, deep and healthy connections.

Part of life is growing apart, either physically or emotionally. Which is why it’s so important to continue to learn how to adapt. And to keep yourself used to interacting and meeting new people. Which will help you feel less alone and lonely. Especially when you live far away from most of your friends, and need more people in your life to talk to and go out with.

Be friendly with your neighbours

Even if you don’t become best of friends with your neighbours, it’s always great to have as many friendly faces around you as you can. Even if it’s just for a smile here or a warm hello there. Perhaps a nice, simple and easy chat in the hallways or lobby of the building. Just to have another human interaction, especially if you’ve been home all day or work from home. 

  • Share smiles – We tend to underestimate the power of a smile, whether it’s directed at us or we directed at others. It can brighten someone’s day, as well as your own. It can remind you to smile more. Also, a smile is always a great starting point for more. 
  • Don’t just walk past – Whenever you can, try to strike up a short conversation. Show some interest and care. They will likely show it back to you, and it’s always nice having someone to share with, even in small ways. Or at least say hello.
  • A helping hand – Being friendly with your neighbours also gives you more people to turn to when you need them, as well as helping others. I’m a huge believer in helping, and that being there for others can also improve your life and feelings. Even if it’s just lending a helping hand with groceries, or a cup of milk or sugar. 
  • Having someone at ‘a minute’s call’ – When you have someone in your life, especially if they’re right next door, to help you with small and immediate problem solving… It can help you feel less alone. Even when it’s something like carrying a heavy item or switching a light bulb, when you have a friendly neighbour you can turn to, you don’t have to constantly fend for yourself. 
Spend your alone time wisely

There is nothing that will make you feel lonelier, than wasting away your alone time. Yeah, it’s also important to do nothing at times, and it can also be quite productive. But not when you do it all of the time. If all you do with yourself is nothing, or scroll through social media and binge watch shows… Then it will decrease the value of your alone time, so you won’t look forward to it. And when you see your alone time that way, it will make you feel lonely to be by yourself even more. 

  • Be productive – Create a schedule for yourself to start working on things that matter to you, and on your passions. Get things done and check things off your list, no matter how slowly you do it. 
  • Focus on your passions – That being said, try to fill your time with activities and tasks that will bring you closer to your dreams and goals. Focus on what it is you want to do with yourself and your life, and map out a plan to get there. Then fill each day with a step or two towards it. 
  • Find your hobbies – Do some trials and errors and try out new and different things, to help you figure out what you like and enjoy. And if you already know, then just make sure to spend your time doing it. 
  • Develop new skills – Whether it’s learning a new language, how to fix something or cooking. Try to improve your own abilities and skills as much as you can. It doesn’t have to be major steps, just as much as you can and slowly build up. 
Go to local events

Before you say that you’re too shy or feel awkward, let me ask you this… Would you rather get over the initial cringe (that can lead you to meet some great new people), or remain in your loneliness and sink in even further? As much as I know full well how scary and awkward it can be, once you get over it and just go to new places, you can find new ways and people to help you battle your loneliness.

Especially when you live alone and feel lonely, this will not only get you out of the house for a bit, but also surround you with people and other distractions. Like a show or play, music, lecture, workshop, convention, etc. If you start going to local events, or even events for singles… You will discover more people around you, which will make you seem less alone. Especially since they likely have the same interests as you. As well as be able to nurture one of your hobbies or passions, if it’s an event that pertains to that topic. 

Create for yourself a home

This is also another tip I mentioned in my Tips & Tricks For Living Alone post, and I wanted to remind you of it and conclude this post with it. Because it’s the most crucial one in my opinion. Just because you’re single and just because you live alone, doesn’t mean you can’t have a home alone. The harsh truth is also that you may not have a choice and you just need to face it.

So make the most of where you are and what you’ve got… And just build something new for yourself, which is most you. A home is a place you feel most comfortable at, where you feel safe and at ease. So whether it’s by decorating it in your style, keeping it clean and cosy, filling it up with things you love, or any other way you can think of… Fill your space and make your space a place you look forward to coming home to and being in. 

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Stay safe, stay healthy and stay strong!
Michal B.L.

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Hey there! My name is Michal, I was born and raised in Israel, currently I live in a small city near Jerusalem. I'm a certified life coach, and in my Single Life Blog, I write about single life in all its glory and share Single Life Lessons to help you embrace yourself and your singlehood. I offer tips and advice for a better, happy single life, how to be independent, feel comfortable in your own skin and company, and how to not chase toxic people - all of which are based on my own 7-year single life experience.