30 Day Challenge for Embracing Singlehood

This is a 30 day challenge to help you start embracing your singlehood, and learning how to enjoy and make the most of it, instead of wallowing. 

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You can invest in the 12 page DIGITAL DOWNLOAD of the 30 day challenge for embracing singlehood, or you can also invest in the 140 page Embracing Singlehood Journal, which includes the challenge as well.

This 30 day challenge for embracing singlehood is not a magic fix. It doesn’t contain secret information to get you to a fast lane to loving single life. There are also no shortcuts, bypasses or cheat sheets. This challenge is a step-by-step guide of sorts, which will get you out of your comfort zone and “force” you to be proactive and start taking action. As you can probably tell, I’m not going to sugar coat it, it won’t be easy or simple. You need to put in the work and it will be hard. There will be low points where you will likely want to give up. But there will also be high points that will push you forward. You will probably cry, self-deprecate and stumble. But such is life, and it’s all an inseparable part of the journey. 

That being said, this challenge is going to build strong, solid stepping stones for you to keep living your best single life. When you push through and persevere, you will make it through so much stronger and more independent. It will provide you with all the tools you need to start living your single life to the fullest. You will learn how to love yourself properly, how to be single and happy, and how to enjoy your own company and presence. By building a strong relationship and connection with yourself. This isn’t to say that the challenge will fix all your problems. The challenge will help you embark on your journey of embracing your singlehood… And you will need to continue all that you learn after you complete the 30 days. 

DISCLAIMER – I am NOT a licensed therapist, and I don’t practise psychology, or any other form of therapy. Anything I share in this challenge and journal is personal insights and experiences that can be used as a guide, which can be taken as just tips and advice from a fellow experienced single woman.

This is a 5 week challenge with 30 days + 5 bonus days. Each week is subject to a specific theme. And each day of the week is subject to a sub-theme.

Weekly Themes:

Each week of the challenge is defined and characterised by a certain theme, which is represented in the tasks of each day. Every theme also builds upon the previous ones, and strengthens the base for the next ones to come. These themes are also crucial pillars of learning how to embrace yourself and embrace your singleness. 

Each week and its theme is also a goal of sorts, and every day of that week is a step towards achieving that goal. I couldn’t cover every single aspect of embracing your singlehood, but these are the top main 5 aspects that helped me in my own journey. They are the top 5 pillars of sorts that stand out the most in my whole process of learning how to love myself and my singleness. 

Week 1 – Creating new, healthy habits

This week’s main goal: Building your base. Learning how to create new, positive habits and actually starting to create a few of the top positive habits.

I wrote a blog post about the top 20 positive habits you should be implementing in your life, as part of your singlehood journey. In this post, I also emphasised the importance of creating and being in control of them. They are the base of the structure of our daily lives, which is why this is the first stage of the 30 day challenge.

• The purpose of this week, beside learning how to generate them, is to create a strong base for yourself to start building upon. 
• A strong base of positive habits, will help you build a better structure to yourself, your life and your singleness. 
• It will also make you so much happier and give you some great boosts in all aspects. Because now you’re adding substance and value. You’re bettering and improving yourself. 

Week 2 – Appreciating and being thankful for what you have

This week’s main goal: Shifting your mindset. Learning how to appreciate what you have, being thankful for it, who you are and what you have.

It’s all too easy to focus on what we don’t have, on what others do have that we want, but can’t seem to get, or do right. Which, as we all know, is just a recipe for disaster and misery. It’s basically the fast lane to make us bitter. It’s also a huge issue in single life, as one of the biggest problems is wondering why you’re the single one? Why can’t you have what your friends and family do? Especially if you’re over 30, and everyone around you seems to be getting married and having kids. 

• It can be very hard to be happy with the cards you’ve been dealt. And from my experience, walking over this will only make it worse. Which is why it’s so important to learn how to be thankful for your singleness. To learn how to appreciate it and where you are in life. When you do this, you will be so much happier with yourself and your singleness. 
• It will also be a much better and healthier starting point to find a relationship.
• After building a strong base of positive habits, it will be so much easier to appreciate and be thankful. 
• When you start being more thankful, and appreciating what you have and who you are… You will be in a better position to start clearing your life of harmful things and people.

Week 3 – Cleansing and decluttering your life

This week’s main goal: Remove excess and harmful people and things from your life. Cleansing your mind, body, soul and physical surroundings of anything toxic and harmful, which hinder your progress. 

I’ve spoken a lot about cleansing your life of toxic people, both in romantic relationships and also in platonic relationships. When trying to build a strong base and structure for your life, to help you embrace yourself and embracing your singleness… Toxic people, relationships, habits and things can only hinder and prevent you from moving forward. They will also likely make it harder to fill your life with better people and habits. Which is why it’s important to get rid of them, before you start filling your life with positive things. 

• You need to make space and clean everything and anything around you, so you can also start fresh. 
• You also don’t want them tainting and ruining the new positive things you start filling your life with. 
• Now that you’ve also started creating new habits and appreciating your life, you’re at a better vantage point to start the cleansing process. 
• Starting from zero is near impossible, which is why you need to begin first with building that strong base.

Week 4 – Filling your life

This week’s main goal: building a strong structure, by filling your life with good, positive and productive things and people. Learning how to fill your life properly, and actually starting to fill it up better.

Life is what you make of it, and no, it’s not all about getting married and having kids. Life is about so much more than that and has a lot to offer. One of the biggest advantages of being single is that you have more freedom, space and capacity to discover it all, and you have so many more opportunities. Which is something that will not only improve your single life and make it really matter… But will also make you love it and yourself more. 

• It’s important to take the time to start filling your single life with all the important aspects that will help you feel fulfilled. All the things that bring you joy and make you feel good. 
• As a single person, you naturally have so much more free time and space in your life. Instead of wallowing over it, take advantage of it and start filling it up with things you wouldn’t have been able to otherwise. 
• Now that you have a good, solid and strong base to build upon, you will be in a much better vantage point to start building your structure. And with a strong structure, you can better, more efficiently prepare for your future… As well as manifest all of your goals and dreams, and make them happen.

Week 5 – Reflecting & Manifesting

This week’s main goal: Solidifying your journey and preparing for the future. Learning how to reflect on all you’ve been through and your progress. How to draw conclusions and resolutions from your process. And how to implement them in your life going forth.

Life is an ongoing journey and a never ending process of growing, learning and building. As humans, we’re constantly evolving, changing and developing. So a 30 day challenge, while very effective and efficient if done well… Is not enough on its own. During the past four weeks, you learned many useful tools and built a strong base and structure. Now it is time to start using it as a well oiled machine to get you through life, and live it the best you can. 

You’ve been building the whole month, and now it is also time to first pause, take a break, and then analyse the whole process. Which is an important skill to learn. To continue this journey and keep being productive in it… You need to learn how to decompose your journey and learn from it.

Daily Themes:

As I’ve mentioned above, the daily themes are basically the steps towards the main weekly goal, which all build up towards the monthly goal… Of learning how to start embracing your singlehood. Each weekly goal is broken down into seven days, to make it easier and simpler to achieve. The daily themes are the same every week, but are adapted to each week’s main theme. 

Every one of these daily themes are also inseparable parts of my own journey to embracing myself and embracing my singleness. Of course there are more, but these are the top 7 that you should start with and implement in your life to begin the process.

Day 1 – Journaling

Journaling is a huge and inseparable part of the journey and an important component while learning how to embrace being single and your singlehood. If you want to make progress you need to learn how to first of all reflect on yourself, your journey and your progress. The best way to do so is by journaling:

• It organises everything including all of your thoughts and emotions. 
• Writing things down, helps you get them out of your system and even puts them in perspective. Especially if you’re an over thinker, like me. 
• It makes it easier to identify what you’ve been going through, and the important points to focus on. 
• It emphasises better what works and what doesn’t. As well as all that you have and overlooked, or couldn’t see before. 
• When it’s all written, you can also go back to it and reflect on it again and again whenever you want.

Day 2 – Rituals: Taking a moment

Creating rituals is a great way to be consistent and build your perseverance, by giving you moments of “escaping” the real world. It is very hard to start a journey, and make things a regular occurrence in your life, without taking moments for yourself:

• Rituals create a system that is easier to work with, and almost automates it.
• Making a point of pausing and taking a moment, will help you recharge and regain energy to keep going.
• Rituals are a much needed break from reality, and a great source of energy and power for your soul and mind. It’s a great moment to just clear your mind and brain fog.
• They are a great way to spend some quality alone time and connect with yourself, while disconnecting from everything else.
• Taking a moment out of your hectic schedule will also break your routine, especially if it’s monotonic. Even more so if you’re cooped up inside all day.

Day 3 – Friendships

While learning how to be alone and enjoying your own company is a huge part of being single, so are friendships. Or more generally – platonic relationships. Just because you’re single, doesn’t mean you’re alone or have to be alone. In fact, I found that no matter my relationship status, it’s my platonic relationships that made me the strongest. They provided me with more security, comfort and assurance than any romantic relationship ever did:

• When you don’t have a main romantic relationship, you have more time and capacity to focus on more platonic relationships.
• You need friendships to create a strong social life, and you have to have a social life to not feel lonely. 
• No matter how comfortable you are alone, you have to have human interactions. Whether it’s someone to just talk to. To lean on. To get a hug. Or someone who makes you feel good when you’re around them.
• Building a strong support system is a crucial step in the journey to embracing your single life… Which will help you through rough times and also provide good times.
• It means you have real and healthy connections in your life, you have people to turn to. Which is the best way to battle loneliness. 

Day 4 – Detox

Creating a clean atmosphere is also crucial, as it gives you a fresh and spacious environment to work in. Which means, you need to start cleansing yourself and your life. And what better way to do this, than by regularly detoxifying:

• Detoxing helps you get rid of, or minimise bad, negative habits that hinder you.
• It makes it easier, and frees up space to create positive habits.
• They are good when you need to improve your mental health and overall well being.
• They remove negativity and help you spread more positivity in your life.

Day 5 – Get out of the house and go outside

This is a lesson I’m sure we’ve all had an overdose of during the pandemic, with lockdown after lockdown after lockdown. Whether you work or study from home, or not, it’s important to take time to be out in nature and fresh air. And not spend all of your time in doors, and even worse – sitting down:

• It gets your body moving, which also helps you lead a healthier lifestyle, and just a great way to relieve muscle tension.
• You can also soak in some much needed sunshine, fresh air and nature.
• It prevents that foul feeling of being stuck at home all day long, and you’ll feel less cooped up in your own home.
• Getting out of the house and going outside is also a great way to spend some quality time with yourself.
• Getting out of the house helps you feel less abandoned and disconnected from the world. 

Day 6 – Self date

A huge part of embracing your singleness and embracing yourself, is building a relationship with yourself. And just like every other relationship, you need to invest time and energy into it. The best way to do so, is by dating yourself and spending quality alone time:

• Self dates will help you feel less awkward in your own company, and more comfortable with yourself, in your own presence.
• Spending quality time with yourself will help you love yourself better.
• It will also help you build a stronger, deeper connection with yourself, and help you get to know yourself, and build a better understanding of who you are.
• Self dates will also help you have some great time on your own, which will make you look forward to your alone time and not dread it.

Day 7 – Activity

One of the biggest, most important steps of life in general, and specifically single life, is to be an active participant in your own life. Stop being a passive bystander by taking charge, being in control and proactive:

• Taking action in one aspect of life, will also help you be more active in other parts of your life and in general.
• Being an active person will help you feel better about yourself and about life.
• It will also make you more productive and better at completing tasks and getting things done.
• Filling your life with activities will improve its quality and value, thus making it more worth living and investing in.
• Activities will also provide you with great, positive things to do with your time and life. And help you feel like you’re doing something of substance with yourself. 

This is an investment in yourself and your life. Just like you take care of your loved ones. Like you take your car to the shop. And clean your house. 

While this whole challenge and process is not easy and shouldn’t be taken lightly, it should also be fun. You need to know when to just let go and enjoy it, just be in the moment and don’t get hung up on every single tiny detail. Have fun with it and take it as a wonderful opportunity to work on yourself and your growth. Remind yourself daily why you’re doing this, and that the outcome will be worth it all. 

Go over all the 30 days before you start them, make sure they fit into your schedule, and make the tweaks and adjustments you need to, in order to make it work. It’s okay to change up a few days if it works better in your schedule, as long as you don’t change them from one week to another. When you have a good sense of it and planned it out in your schedule, just go for it.

Don’t wait around for the right time, heck, don’t even wait for the 1st of the month, because procrastination is your enemy here. There will never be the right time, and you will always have reasons why not. It will never be perfect, and that’s okay. It shouldn’t be perfect (that’s just boring and overrated). So just get up and get out on your journey.

You can invest in the 12 page DIGITAL DOWNLOAD of the 30 day challenge for embracing singlehood, or you can also invest in the 140 page Embracing Singlehood Journal, which includes the challenge as well.

SIGN UP for my mailing list to receive an Embracing Singlehood Bundle, which includes: an Anxiety Relief Bundle, a Self-Care Bundle, a Goal Setting Tracker and a Self-Reflection Journal. You’ll also receive exclusive pro tips with every single blog post published!

Stay safe, stay healthy and stay strong!
Michal B.L.

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