Top 7 tips & tricks to help you improve and overcome struggles in your single life when you’re living alone.
Living alone, especially for the first time, and even more so if most or all of your friends have their own families and homes… Can be very difficult, and a very drastic transition. When I decided to move in on my own… I knew that even though I love my own company, it won’t be an easy move. Especially since I work from home. Which means I don’t leave the house to go to work. And I don’t meet work friends every day. So I need to put in that extra effort to get out and meet people.
While there’s a lot to absolutely love about living on your own… Like having your privacy, space and being able to do whatever you want… It can also be very scary. And while it may sound dramatic, if you don’t do it right, it can make or break your single life.
Live close to friends or family
One of the biggest fears most singles have regarding living alone, and one of the main reasons they avoid it… Is the fear of being alone. Not only being lonely, but also just being far away from everyone and by yourself. Either because you won’t have someone to hang and go out with. Or if god forbid something bad happens, no one else will be nearby. It can also be very daunting to be in an apartment alone, without anyone else to share meals, expenses, time and space with. Being in constant quietness and alone isn’t easy even when we feel extremely comfortable with ourselves.
Which is why it’s so important to choose a place to live that is close to either your family or your friend. I know it’s not always possible, if you’re moving for work, for example. But if you have the option, try to choose a city or town where you have some family and friends. That way you can visit each other, and have someone in your area, in case you need them. It also makes it much easier to go out with them, and will prompt you to do so more often. When you live far away from everyone, you may not be able or not want to go so far so often. While you do need to learn to be happy on your own… You also can’t always be alone, it will drive you insane no matter how much you enjoy your alone time.
Live in a city you like
Living alone can be made so much easier if you live in a city or town that you actually enjoy living in. Again, I know this isn’t always possible. If you need to move for work. Or just prefer being in a city where you have more friends or family. But if you have a choice, choose the place with more things that appeal to you. Whether it be the attractions, restaurants, views, or the atmosphere. When it’s a city or town you love and enjoy being in, it won’t only give you more things to do and see there… It will also help you ease into living alone, by providing you with some nice distractions and something to turn to when it gets hard.
Don’t spend all of your time at home
If, like me, you also work from home, this is even more important. Because there’s nothing worse than spending the whole day in the house. Not only without going outside, but also without seeing anyone. If it’s once in a while, it’s completely fine and normal, but to make a habit of it… Can make you feel very isolated and alone. Even for the people who are super comfortable with themselves it’s not easy to only be alone all of the time. Which is why it’s important to go for daily walks, and schedule time with friends and family regularly. If you’re spending all of your time at home alone, it can also make you feel like the walls are closing in on you. And suffocating in your own home and space.
Create a home for yourself
If you find yourself dreading spending time at your apartment, or if you dread going back to it after every time you go out… It may very well be because you don’t feel at home in it, or comfortable enough. Perhaps it’s not decorated enough, if at all, or maybe it’s just not you enough. Either way, you need to find a way to make it more of a home, create your own space that’s true to you. Here are a couple ways to do that –
- Make it a safe space for yourself – This is a place where you feel safest in the world, where you go to as your safe haven. To make it as such, you need to fill it with the things that make you feel the safest. Whether it be actually self defense tools, or something that helps ease your anxiety.
- Make it your own – Decorate your apartment in your own unique taste. You can even turn it into a fun challenge or DIY project with yourself, to go out and find fun, nice and beautiful things to fill it with. I really enjoyed going to second hand and charity shops, to find special items to decorate my place with.
Keep your kitchen stocked and cook for yourself
Another reason why you may dread going home is because you don’t have anything to eat, or not enough food that you like. As silly as it may sound, it’s just another reminder that you no longer live at home with family.
Cooking for yourself and keeping a well stocked kitchen is an effective way to make your apartment feel more like a home. A place that has all of your favourite foods and snacks. Cooking, and having all the ingredients you need for it, gives you another fun and exciting activity to do with yourself. As well as being a great form of taking care of yourself. Making sure you not only eat, but eat well and healthy as well. Also, one of the reasons why we enjoy going home to family so much… Is for the yummy food that smells devine, reminding us of our childhood. Do that for yourself as well.
Keep your place tidy and clean
Yet another reason to dread coming back home, is if it’s not tidy, and even more so if it’s messy and dirty. Besides the fact that it’s unhealthy to live in a dirty home, and can attract many unwanted and disgusting species… It will also make you feel uncomfortable in your own home. You might also not find things you need, and lose them more easily, which can be very frustrating. Not to mention that if there’s a mess around you, there will likely also be a mess in your head. And you’ll be less productive. Here are a couple of ways to prevent this:
- Make a habit of putting things away – When you have a big mess, it’s harder to clean. But if you make a habit of putting things away as you go, it will be much easier to keep your place and space clean and tidy. With time this habit will come more naturally and be easier to maintain.
- Don’t leave the dishes so long – As the saying goes, the longer you wait, the harder it will be to clean. Dishes are so much simpler and quicker to wash if you do them right away as you go, so this is another great habit to work on.
- Schedule time to clean – When we get too busy, cleaning can often be overlooked, especially since it’s a task we usually don’t enjoy. Which is also why we tend to neglect it, and if we run out of time, it’s one of the first things to go. So it’s important to schedule time for it, and not to put it off all the time.
- Make it fun – I know that it’s hard to make cleaning enjoyable, but do the best you can to make it at least a little bit more fun. Either by putting on music, turning it into a game or rewarding yourself in some form for everything you clean.
Find your community
This is especially important if you move to a city where you don’t have any friends or family, and don’t know anyone. If you don’t have a choice of city, and have to move there, at least make sure to choose the neighbourhood and community. Whether or not you move to a place where you know people, it’s always a great idea to search for a nice community, a building where you know you’ll have good neighbours. Perhaps even people your age that you can make friends with. Do research online, check Facebook groups or ask the local realtors. Also while you live in your apartment, try to build and create your own community… So you can feel more like you belong. And that you have a place with your own people. You can also build one with people from church or synagogue if you’re religious.
In conclusion – It isn’t easy, but it’s also what you make of it
Just like everything else in life, living alone will be a direct product of what you make of it. While living alone can indeed be scary, and there are many down-sides… There are also many good and fun things about it. It’s also a great life experience. As well as a great way to grow more thick skinned and closer to yourself. So if you fight past the hard challenges and hurdles, and focus on all of the many, wonderful perks… It can be the best thing for you and your single life. Personally, I also believe that every person should experience living alone at least once in their lives… Especially when they’re single. Because it can help you grow closer to yourself, as well as build more confidence and independence. And yeah, it can also just be a fun experience and experiment.
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