How to Spend Quality Time Alone

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These are the top five methods to help you learn how to spend quality time alone, which will improve your single life and help you feel more comfortable in your own company.

One of the biggest struggles you’ll face in singlehood – is having to spend more time alone (let alone spend quality time alone). And instead of learning how to do so effectively, you just try to avoid it as much as you can. Which only adds to your single life stress. It’s one of the most important lessons I learned in my own single life – the importance of not only spending time alone – but making sure it’s also QUALITY time. Yet, you won’t be able to learn this yourself, if you don’t take steps and be proactive in pursuing it. You’ll always see your alone time as a punishment if it’s always wasted on low-value things or just nothing at all. The more you avoid your time by yourself, the more of an issue it will become. And the harder it will be to overcome.

Your single life is a wonderful opportunity to start learning how to spend quality time alone and learning what it means to you and how to do so. This is the core of single life because during this time you spend more time by yourself by default. Instead of avoiding this time, which will only make you wallow and more bitter… You need to learn how to embrace it and yourself, how to enjoy your own company. And make the most of it. To do so, you need to learn how to fill your time alone with activities that have value and substance. Utilise this opportunity to not waste your time on your phone and social media (and likely comparing yourself to it)… But to actually make your alone time invaluable. While also helping you be happy in your singleness.

So, if you keep wondering: “How do I spend quality time with myself?” or “What is quality time alone?” – this blog post is exactly what you need!

Table of Contents

Four important rules of thumb:

Finding ways to spend quality time alone is essential, and a powerful way to foster self-awareness, personal growth, and emotional well-being. Yet it often comes with its own set of challenges. It’s easy to either waste this precious time or get distracted by other demands. To make the most out of your solo moments, it’s important to follow some key principles that can help you be more intentional and productive. As a bonus, you’re also happier in your single life. Here are four important rules of thumb to ensure your alone time is both fulfilling and enriching.

1. Be cautious not to waste your time:

Not all of your time has to always be meticulously planned and spent wisely. It’s okay to also have downtime where you just wind down and relax. It’s probably even necessary for your sanity and perseverance. However, you should make sure to limit this time, as it can easily suck you in and you can find yourself wasting all of your time away. Which will only make you feel worse. Be very purposeful & intentional with your alone time, and even set goals for every scheduled time.

2. Evaluate the value of your time

What is considered time well spent? Which activities are of high value and quality? The answer to this may vary for each person, as every person is different and has their own interests. Yet there are a couple of components that stay the same:

Productivity & efficiency – is your time and work efficient? This doesn’t mean just being busy, this means getting things done properly in a reasonable timeframe. You need to learn how to be able to generate the fruits of your labour without wasting time and effort and still maintaining a certain level of quality.
Significant & meaningful – part of not wasting time, means spending it focused on things that are important and deserve your attention. You’re not just doing pointless tasks to feel busy and productive, you’re actually working with purpose. It’s important to pay your time and attention to the things that really matter and have significance in the goals that you’re trying to achieve.

3. Don’t bail on yourself:

Just like you wouldn’t cancel on your friends at the very last minute, certainly not regularly… Try to not do this with your alone time either. When you do so, you indicate it’s not important to you. Every cancellation devalues it more and more, and you’re far less likely to reschedule with every additional time you cancel. Also, would you wanna make plans with a friend that always bails?

4. Avoid unnecessary distractions:

If you, like me, struggle with silence, it’s okay to put on music in the background. Perhaps in some specific cases (maybe when you’re more comfortable, so it’s less of a distraction and more of white noise)… You can also put a show on in the background. But you should try and put your phone aside. Just like you wouldn’t take a long call or constantly text when you’re out with a friend. Don’t try to even document it for social media.

This list includes the top methods that will help you spend quality time alone, and learn how to do it most effectively.

1. Hobbies – Do things you love & enjoy

I preach about this again and again, and I do so because hobbies are a huge part of learning how to spend quality time alone. Choose an activity you’re good at and enjoy, whether it’s already in your life, or isn’t and you wish to nourish it. Then start making and scheduling for it, no matter how hectic your time gets. It’s important, and should never be perceived as something you can skip like nothing. Of course, there are exceptions, but you have to make sure you understand this can’t be a recurring thing. Besides helping you battle loneliness, hobbies add value to your life, they’re a great, productive way to spend your time. Especially since you can’t always be around people, and you need more substance. They also make you a person with more substance, thus more interesting to others. Hobbies are a great way to also spend some of your downtime when you don’t want to just waste it away by lounging around or binge-watching.

Ideas for hobbies:

The following are some general ideas – but you need to choose what resonates with you best. You can also join groups, teams, workshops, classes, courses, etc. This will help you not only learn and advance but also meet new people with similar interests.

Puzzles, crosswords, mind games, etc.
Musical instrument, singing or writing/composing.
Sports – swimming, dancing, football, basketball, soccer, etc.
Art – writing, drawing, painting, sketching, sculpting, glassblowing, DIY etc.
Woodwork or building
Sewing or knitting

2. Passions – Invest in your dreams and passions

When you’re single, most likely your passion, which is usually your career/side-hustle (or strive for it to be), is your baby. It’s one of the biggest, if not the biggest focal point of your life, and is also usually the centre of your attention. Or at least it should be, because during your singlehood when you have so much more time and energy. You have more capacity to nourish and nurture your passions, the things that burn deep within you, something you love and believe in. This should always be the case but is more so when you’re single and don’t have anything or anyone else to take your time and energy. It’s also a great way to spend your time, as it adds value and helps you feel productive. Like you’re doing something important with your life. So spend time finding your passion, playing around with it, figuring it out, what it means to you and where you wanna take it. Then, slowly take one step at a time to develop and grow it.

Ideas for passions:

You may need to do some trial & error, which is fine and totally normal – but it’s likely somewhere already inside you. A passion – as the word suggests, is something you’re passionate about. Something you believe in, want to make an impact with and are good at.

Writing – a blog, books, poetry, opinion pieces, social media content, etc.
Designing – home decor, fashion, interior, etc.
Art – drawing, painting, sculpting, glassblowing, beading, knitting, etc.
Sports – join a local team/club, sign up for competitions, get a coach/trainer, etc.
Cooking or baking

3. Skills – Nurture and grow your skills

Part of building and working on your hobbies/passions means developing and growing both existing skills and new ones. If you want to get better and good at something, you need to spend time doing it – both with the skill and your time alone. The more you do it, the better you will be at it. You need to practice and exercise your abilities daily, at least in some way, shape or form. This will improve your performance and knowledge. Spending your time developing your skills will add value to your life in several aspects. It will enhance your abilities and the quality of your life, and make you feel better because of it. Which will make you an overall better and happier person. Developing and growing these skills takes awareness and self-reflection. You need to track your progress and persevere through the hard, lazy times. Some don’t have direct methods or ways to work on them, they are part of completing daily tasks and activities.

Ideas for skills:

Some skills you may just wanna develop for no other reason than your will. Most skills, however, should align with your hobbies and passions. They can be varying topics and levels that pertain to your niche. For example: if I wanna start a blog, I can take a blogging course, writing classes, website-building, marketing, designing, etc.

Professionalism Skills – maturity, patience, self-confidence, integrity, loyalty, etc.
Organisational Skills – goal setting, prioritising, scheduling, time management, etc.
Life Skills – cleaning, maintenance around the house, home organisation, etc.
Personal Life Skills – adaptability, effort, flexibility, patience, curiosity, responsibility, caring, common sense, etc.
Occupational skills – design, creativity, tech, continuing education program, etc.

4. Educate yourself – Learn new things & advance in your field

In every guidebook to success, it is mentioned in one way or another, that the road to being successful is continuous learning. One of the biggest aspects that differentiates successful people from the rest, is that they continue to broaden their horizons. They pick up a book instead of binge-watching another show. They take more courses to develop skills and progress in their field. Apart from helping you achieve success, educating yourself will also open your eyes to new ways of thinking and give you ideas. It will make you wiser and not just guess your way around blindly. Educating yourself will also make you feel good about yourself, it will give you a self-esteem boost. And yes, knowledge is power. It will also make you spend your time better, in ways that will provide satisfaction. As well as making you a more interesting person to others, and have more to contribute to conversations.

Ideas for educating yourself:

This goes beyond just learning something to develop a specific skill, this helps you develop as a person. It makes you more open-minded, less easy to manipulate and influence, having your own opinions and views, broadening your horizons, expanding your vocabulary, etc.

Take courses – either to improve your skills for your career and to advance in it, or to revamp your hobbies and general skills.
Reading books – reading and learning more about topics that interest you, that help you learn more about your field, self-help and success books, etc.
Watching educational YouTube videos, or listening to podcasts
Sign up for lectures and conferences
Being curious – don’t let things just pass over your head, if you see something you don’t know or understand… Look it up!

5. Self-Dates – Take yourself out on proper, fun dates

When you spend quality time alone, it’ss not only measured by the productiveness of your time and efforts spent. It’s important to learn new things and skills, to make progress in your work. But it’s no less important to also have fun, to enjoy the time you spend with yourself – just like you do with loved-ones. One of the main reasons you enjoy your time with family and friends and want to spend it with them… Is because you do interactive and fun activities together. Which is something you also need to do with yourself. Not only will it help you enjoy your alone time, but will also bring you closer to yourself. Dating yourself is one of the most important components in building a self-relationship, which consists of spending valuable and high-quality time with yourself. And dating yourself is never a waste of time and should never be overlooked. This time needs to stand out, it needs to be different from any other time spent with yourself. Find ways to make it unique and best suited for you.

Ideas for dating yourself:

You need to start with what you feel ready and comfortable with – and take it from there. You’ll likely never feel 100% prepared, but you need to start small and work your way up. If you dive in too deep, too soon – you’ll probably drown, and then never wanna do any of it again. Click here for more on how to date yourself.

Events – festivals, movies, theatre plays, local fairs, etc.
Home dates – movie night, spa day, home-cooked dinner date, etc.
Attractions – theme parks, museums, zoos, etc.
Outdoors – walks, picnics, beach/pool day, parks, hikes, etc.
Others – tours, workshops, shopping sprees, etc.

In conclusion – find the right measurements for you

Think of this post as a recipe, it will give you the ingredients you need to learn how to spend quality time alone… And you need to find the right measurements for you. Don’t be afraid to just go for it and try. Play around with it and do some trial and error, because at the end of the day, that is how you learn and find the right amount for you. Just like with everything else in life, it’s all a matter of balance, and it’s never the same for everyone. It’s okay to see what others are doing to get inspiration and motivation, but then make sure to adapt it to you, and what’s best for you. Make sure to incorporate and integrate all of these five methods into your life, as they are all crucial for your journey. And will all help you discover how to love alone time and be happy in your single period. Each method adds value of its own, and they all feed off each other and make them stronger and better when combined.