Dating Yourself – 23 Self Dates Ideas
23 ideas for fun dates and activities to do by yourself, that will help you develop and maintain a self-relationship.
More often than not, we neglect the relationship we have with ourselves in order to please others, or to maintain one with someone else. Whether you’re single or not, developing and maintaining a strong, healthy relationship is key to being happy with yourself. For practicing self love. Especially if you’re single, and want to learn how to be single and happy, without relying on relationships with others.
The best way to do that, beside self caring the sh*t out of yourself, is by dating yourself. And yes, I know it sounds silly and awkward, and believe me, I was very shy about it at first too. I didn’t even know where to begin. I was so used to dating others, and basing my happiness on every other relationship I had, that I was completely lost. But with the right amount of patience and persistence, I managed to make it though.
I have already begun to write posts about single ideas for self dating, and I will continue to do so. But I thought I’d collect them up into one list and summarize them, to give you some ideas of dates you can take yourself on. Really, it’s not much different than dates you go on with partners of friends. I even derived some ideas from dates I had gone on with exes, and recreated them into solo dates.
1. Home Spa Day
During COVID you cannot go to an actual spa, but you can make a nice, personalised one at home. I have yet to try going to an actual spa alone, but I plan to as soon as they open up again. But for now, I try to treat myself to a home spa day date every other week, and mini spa evenings a couple of times a week – with some face masks and pampering time. You can check out my blog post about my home spa day date for all the details.
This date can actually be possible during COVID, just make sure to check and follow your local guidelines. Taking yourself on a solo picnic date, is actually quite good for growing comfort in your own mind and thoughts. It’s also great to learn how to stop caring about what others think, especially about you being out alone. So grab your favourite book and snacks, and head to your favourite park or spot.
3. Home Movie Night (during COVID)
Unfortunately going to the movies isn’t possible right now, and I have yet to have a chance to do so. But for now, I have created my own home movie night date, and I found it to be a great way to spend some time with myself. It does take some creativity, and thinking outside the box to differentiate it from any other evening where you watch a show or movie.
4. A nice stroll, with ice-scream
This may seem simple, and maybe even silly, but it’s also super important. This is also good to learn how to just take an enjoyable stroll, without being in a hurry or rushing somewhere. Which is something I always struggle with. It’s also a great way to spend some quality, quiet time with yourself. Strolling around, allowing your brain to wander and your eyes to soak in the local stores, people and colours. Maybe even stop to pick up a nice ice cream on the way.
5. Arts & crafts / DIY projects
This is definitely one of my favourite dates to take myself on, and also do with others. I’m a huge fan of anything creative. Not long ago, I used old Nespresso capsules to decorate an Ikea lamp I had at home, and that was so much fun. I have also ordered myself a makers crate subscription box, which is a great option if you don’t have any ideas or the supplies you need. Stay tuned for the post about that – coming soon!
6. Day at the beach / swimming pool
The hotel I worked at was on the beach and I used to love going after night shifts, when it was still early, quiet, pretty empty and not too hot. I would leave my phone at work and just go lay calmly, relieving all of the stress and just truly letting go of everything. Besides that, I think it’s also a great date to go on with yourself, make a day out of it and even combine it with a nice picnic.
7. Home cooked dinner date
Personally, I love to cook, and I think both cooking and eating it cozily afterwards, is a great date to have with yourself. Not only are you maintaining a hobby or developing a new skill, but you’re also spending some quality time with yourself. I usually like to choose a nice recipe, or watch a youtuber cook and put my own spin on it. I also put some music or TV shows in the background so it’s not too quiet.
8. Day at the zoo / aquarium
I have always loved a simple day at the zoo, walking around and visiting all of the animals, maybe even having a picnic. So pick yourself up a map of the local zoo or aquarium, and navigate your way around – for me the navigation part is also part of the fun. I also love to take the train ride around the park, which is a great way to practice feeling comfortable and stop caring what others may think when they see you alone.
9. Museums / art gallery
Now, I know this is not for everyone, and that’s okay. But even if it’s not your usual cup of tea, perhaps you can give it a try anyway. It may surprise you with how much you enjoy it. I just feel that museums and galleries are a great way to spend some quality time with yourself, and learn some new things, try some new things and experiences. Usually there’s also a variety to choose from.
10. Guided tour
Almost every major city around the world, has a free tour, where you just tip the guide at the end. So if your city, or a nearby city has one, or even a paid one – perhaps you can give it a go. It can be interesting, cultural and a great way to both spend time with yourself and meet new people. It doesn’t have to be a city tour, it can also be a guided trip to an interesting landmark or place.
11. Local market
Personally I love going to the local market. When I lived closer, I even used to do my weekly shopping there. Besides all of the amazing aromas, colours and things going on, it’s fun and exciting. Perhaps you can even go on a tasting tour, where you could also meet other people to hand out with. I also enjoy just walking around and getting lost through the different venues and alleys.
12. Shopping spree
I’m not a huge shopping buff, and I cannot go on long shopping outings, but even I enjoy shopping sprees every so often. Of course the best shopping is either with my sisters or my best friend, but sometimes it’s just fun going on my own. When I can go at my own pace, without worrying about someone else. I can also go as slow or as fast as I would like to.
13. Jump on A train
This is another one of my favourites. I’m all for being adventurous and spontaneous, especially in these crazy and unknown times. Again, make sure to follow the local guidelines and stay safe, but within that – just go with the flow. You can make a game out of it and either toss a dice, or ask IG stories where you should go and what you should do next.
14. Fancy Restaurant
Personally, I’m not a huge fan of fancy dinners, especially not alone – I would much rather go with a friend (although, I do prefer casual restaurants). Contrary to what many say, I don’t think you need to go on a fancy dinner alone to feel comfortable with yourself and self date. But it can definitely help, because it really challenges you and brings you out of your comfort zone. It’s also so much more intense than just going out for a drink at a bar or sitting at a cafe.
15. Hiking day trip / walk in nature
I love nature, and I truly believe in it’s power to help us connect with ourselves. Especially in these days, where many of us barely leave the house and do activities. If possible, and the guidelines don’t restrict it… Try to take a trip to the local forest, hiking trail or any other nature park you may have nearby, where you can spend the day. Find a nice view point, a peaceful spot to sit and write or draw or anything else you like. You can also pick a spot for a nice picnic.
16. A Movie at the Cinema
As mentioned above, I have yet to try this one out, but I fully intend to as soon as the cinemas reopen. I think this one is great for overcoming that awkward feeling of buying one ticket, to purchasing snacks for yourself and to sitting alone. Especially if the cinema is full. But I encourage you to try it out and be brave, because no one should feel awkward hanging out alone and dating themselves.
17. Go to a concert / theatre play / local festivals
Any of these three are actually fairly good events to start you off with self dating, because they are filled with so much excitement and distractions – that the fact that you’re alone, is likely to go unnoticed, thus removing extra pressure and tension you may be feeling. Also, they’re fun, uplifting and a great way to just let go and disconnect for an hour and a half or so.
18. Cooking / baking class
Personally I love interactive activities, where I can either work on my pre existing skills and hobbies, or create and develop new ones. Cooking is not only fun and creative, but also quite useful, especially for us singles who need to cook for ourselves. And again, this is another activity where you can meet more people to hang out with.
19. Wine tasting
This is an activity which I’ve always enjoyed, even when I wasn’t much into wine. Because there’s something so peaceful and nice about walking around a vineyard or a brewery. If you’re a wine buff, you’ll definitely enjoy tasting different wines and even learning about them. If you’re not, you can also go for beer tasting, which is also great fun and of course, yummy. It also may give you that little buzz, which might ease the awkwardness that you might feel.
20. Explore your city – or a town nearby
Who of us doesn’t enjoy feeling like a tourist sometimes? Especially now when we can’t really travel, I’m sure many of you – like me – miss it more than ever. And even when restrictions are lifted, and you can’t afford it or can’t take time off work, you can simply spend a few hours exploring your town through different eyes. Where you usually rush to work or school, you can take your time and explore the streets – you’d be amazed how much you’ve missed and will be surprised to discover in “familiar” places. You can also head off to a different town nearby if you prefer, and be a tourist there.
21. Mani – Pedi
I’m all for self care and pampering in all shapes or forms, as long as they help you relax and connect with yourself. And what better way to do that than with treating yourself to a nice mani-pedi? Personally, I really like treating myself to getting my nails done at least once a month – for no one other than myself. To make me feel good, and not to impress others. It may seem simple, small or shallow, but it’s neither. It makes me feel good about myself and a wonderful pampering, so nothing else matters.
22. Pub crawl
If you want something fun and exciting, a date that will help you let go and let loose – this is the one for you. Not only do you get to hang out with new people, you also get to check out a bunch of different cool pubs and bars. You can also get a lot of free drinks, which is definitely always a bonus.
Again, I’m a huge fan of interactive and creative dates, where you don’t just sit around. There are so many options and you can do some quick searches on google to find something near you, that you would enjoy. It can be pottery, painting, cocktail making, sewing, knitting, woodwork, writing, or anything else you can find and enjoy.
So many of us neglect ourselves and our self-relationships, for the sake of maintaining friendships and romantic relationships.
While it is super important to maintain those relationships, it should never come before or instead of the one with yourself. The first and foremost relationship you need to work on and maintain, is with yourself – otherwise, you’ll never be truly comfortable in your own company.
Personally I really believe that it’s absurd that we feel cringy and awkward just hanging out with ourselves. For far too long society frowns upon it, causing people to refrain from being seen alone anywhere. As if it’s so embarrassing and humiliating. I say no, it’s not. It’s incredible and more people should do it, regardless of their relationship status.
Stay safe, stay healthy and stay strong!
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I remember the days, when I was a single girl in New York doing all of these things….memories.xoxo
Glad to hear that you have fond memories 🙂
Nice bunch of ideas. This is good not just for singles, but for widows as well!
thanks so much! I’m so glad you think so. I believe that everyone should date themselves, regardless of their relationship status. <3
Love the idea of dating yourself! Its so important to learn to be okay alone.
glad to hear you think so. It really is super important! <3